Lament

There I was,

Lost in the ocean of forgetfulness,

Hoping for a vessel to come and rescue,

But hope remains as hope,

With no effort to float.

There i was,

Living in the world full with deceptions,

When mirage was only i could see,

With no certainty of the reality.

There i was,

Living like a spinning wheel,

Repeating the same rhythm of sin,

Enjoying each moment I was in,

As if the clock wasn't tickin'.

There i was,

Walking through the forest of light,

Hoping to arrive at the light,

Alas, I was lost in the middle of the forest, 

without sight.

There i was,

Smiling, laughing,

At the actions that i knew i shouldn't be doing,

As if Heaven is the place I'm heading.

There i was,

Writing down every bit of memories,

While reminiscing,

In sadness,

Relieving the painfulness in the heart.

And there i was,

Picking up pieces of hope,

From dependent beings,

To only realize that it was futile,

Cos i have Him,

The Independent.

2.30am | 28 Feb 17

Berbeza serupa

Manusia

Lain sikit tutur katanya, 

Dianggap tidak sebangsa.

Lain sikit gayanya,

Dianggap tidak serupa.

Lahir di sana,

Dilayan hina.

Lahir di sini,

Dilayan tinggi.

Siapa kita utk merendahkan dan meninggikan mereka,

Sedangkan 'akar' kita sama.

Siapa kita utk menghina,

Sedangkan ilmu di dada pun belum cukup sempurna.

Siapa kita utk mencerca,

Sedangkan kita semuanya hamba.

Sedarlah,

Perbezaan bukan alat utk menjatuhkan.

Tetapi,

Perbezaan membuka ruang pemikiran.

Agar,

Manusia tetap kekal di landasan.

25 Julai 2016

ABC 345

The handicapped

Forgive me,

For pretending to be imbecile,

Even when I know, 

That it is essential,

To me and to you.

For pretending to be blind,

Even when my eyes can clearly see,

And when the signs are in front of me.

For pretending to be deaf,

Even when my ears can clearly hear,

The recitation that makes me tear.

For pretending to be mute,

Even when my mouth can fluently communicate,

Without fabricate, without hate.

I am wrong,

To put my desire,

Higher,

Than I put love,

To the One Above.

I am wrong,

to run away,

From you,

Who never let me go astray.

I am wrong,

I am foolish,

I am stupid.

For repeating,

The same evil thing, 

That I did yesterday.

For not repenting,

As soon as I sinned,

But wait till the last moment,

Till the last breath,

And it is already...

too late.

Please, my Lord...

Forgive me...

Forgive me...

Forgive...

Forgi...

...

Thursday, 10 November 2016

Rational

There are times,

when i think that i need to do it,

I know that i need to do it,

but the mind says i should not.

There is a war,

between 'need' and 'should'.

A war that will never stop,

until rationality comes into place.

For rationality to come, 

pure soul is desperately needed.

To attain a pure soul,

repent. 

Turn over a new leaf. 

Start a new relationship with Him,

a new and better relationship.

By doing so, 

A rational being is born. 

A rational state of mind is developed. 

A rational action is made.

In between, 

sacrifices have to be made. 

Things that we love will be left behind. 

And, 

litres of tears,

Countless droplets of blood and sweat,

will be at stake.

For why should we sacrifice so much?

Just to achieve that state of mind,

Rational.

Tuesday, 1 November 2016

Ironik

Disangka tiada perasaan,

Dituduh tiada emosi,

Difitnah itu ini.

Hidup,

Memang gampang sekali kita mencaci,

Memaki,

Mengeji.

Mudah sekali kita berbicara,

Mencerca,

Menghina.

Dapat diluah isi hati?

Selesai semua masalah?

Bagaimana pula si mangsa ? 

Tidak pula kita mengambil kira.

Kerana terlalu pentingkan diri sendiri,

Umpama kepunyaan kita, segala isi bumi.

Ironi sungguh ! 

Konon memaki mereka yg menghina agama,

Sedang kita sendiri mencerca sesama kita,

Konon mempertahankan bangsa,

Sedang baru seminit yg lalu kita mengutuk sesama kita.

Sedarlah manusia !

Me during Ramadhan

Assalamualaikum and hello guys !

So we are at the end of Ramadhan already. How's ur Ramadhan ? I hope it is better than the previous ones.

Just wanna share my experience and what i feel about this Ramadhan. To be frank, i have wasted too much time in this Ramadhan. Like seriously, i will be sleeping most of the time during the day. After i wake up, i will feel very tired and continue to sleep again. At night, i usually sleep at around 12am, so, waking up for sahoor at 5am is really hard for me. Still, i am forcing myself to wake up and eat something. After fajr prayer, i will take another round of sleeping. Phewh ! It is tiring just by reading this, right? 

After many times repeating the same routine, i say to myself "uhh ! What am i doing ?!" "What makes me feel so tired?!" "Is it the food that i eat? Or the amount of the food that i eat?" 

Maybe it's the amount of food that i consume. So, i start to take a small amount of food during sahoor. Still, i keep on sleeping during the day. Then i think to myself "maybe it depends on my mentality. If i have the mentality that fasting is not tiring, then only i can prevent myself from getting sleepy." So yeah..im still trying right until today. Huhu.

Sleeping is one thing. The other thing is i feel like fasting is merely making myself hungry for 14 hours+ and later i will break my fast like nothing happened. I mean..spiritually. It is like wasting my energy for nothing ! 

Then only i start to ponder "God is trying to make us feel (maybe just a glimpse) what the underprivileged people feel. He wants us to realize that there are people who live in hunger so that we become a humble human being. So that we will never discriminate the rich and the poor. So that we share our wealth with the needy. So that we will never put money in our hearts, but only in our hands. For us to give. For us to share." 

Alhamdulillah. After discovering the reasons behind fasting, i started to admit that i am spiritually weak although i may seem physically tough (ok..this is awkward). And although it seems that the hungry people are physically weak, but believe me..they have the strongest spirit.

My point is that..when you find the reasons behind the things that you do, you will appreciate them better. As long as it is a good thing, ofcourse. 

With that being said, i hope that we can purify our intentions in this holy month and insyaAllah God will reward us. 

Amiin 

Book review

Assalamualaikum and hello guys !!

So..Recently, I bought some new books for my own leisure reading. And guess what ?! I bought them all with book vouchers (just like a normal student would do). 

With that being said, for the upcoming posts, InsyaAllah I will review or give some ideas about the books that I have read or will read in Malay, most probably. Lets start with 3 books at the moment. Those books are :-

1. Tenggelamnya Kapal Van Der Wijck by Allahyarham Hamka ;

2. Tuan Direktur by Allahyarham Hamka and ;

3. Merantau Ke Deli by Allahyarham Hamka as well.

As you can see, all of them are Allahyarham Hamka's work. Yep. Frankly, I'm in love with his writings. And since PTS re-published his works, I think it's better for me to take this opportunity to read and understand the messages that he tried to convey. So, yeah. Go and buy one if you have not. And lets have a review session at the comment section below, if you will. :))

Thanks guys !